
She came in for a massage because her neck had become stiff and her shoulders were sore. Nothing dramatic had happened. There hadn’t been an injury or a particular moment when she suddenly realised something was wrong. It had simply crept up on her. This client had a busy job, a home to run, children to look after and a long list of things that needed doing. The discomfort in her body had gradually become part of everyday life. She noticed the tension building up, but not enough to stop.
This is something I see quite often. When we live with tension for long enough, it can begin to feel normal. We stop noticing how much effort our body is using because we have become accustomed to it.
As the massage began, she started to relax and let go. As she settled more deeply into the massage, she let out a sigh. There was no particular technique or magic moment. She was simply given some time where nobody needed anything from her.
After a while she said, almost with surprise, “I didn’t realise what a load I was carrying.” We talked about her life and how easy it is to keep going when there is always something else to do. Sometimes we don’t realise how much tension we’re holding until we finally have somewhere safe to let it go. She also mentioned that some days she finds it difficult to really switch off and let herself relax. Even when she has time to herself, it can be hard to move out of the busy pace of everyday life.
I suggested that from time to time she ask herself a simple question: “What would help me unwind today?” For some people, the answer might be going for a walk. For others, it might be taking a long hot bath, sitting in the sunshine with a cup of tea, listening to music, spending time in the garden, having half an hour where nobody needs anything from them, or it could be an hour on the massage table, allowing someone else to take care of you for a change. The important thing is finding ways for your body and mind to have some time away from the constant demands of everyday life. You don’t have to wait until you’re completely exhausted before you give yourself that time.
As my client was leaving, she said “I feel taller and lighter – like a load has been lifted off my shoulders”. I smiled – this is what makes my work so rewarding.
If you’d like to talk about whether massage might be helpful for you, you can contact me.